Do You or Someone You Love Have a Porn Addiction?
Dr. John Thorington
Tuscaloosa Christian Counseling
What is the biggest addiction problem in the United States? The surprising answer is neither drugs nor alcohol, but internet pornography. In a recent internet poll by Christian.net, 50% of male responders said that they were addicted.
User-statistics from 2000 show that the main porn sites were receiving 50 million hits per month. Recent statistics from Internet Filter Review are that this has soared to 72 million hits per month. Pornography is big business, and this business is ruining lives and undermining society.
A few more figures illustrate the true cause of pornography. It is not something that is good for society or for the individual, but it is very good for the bank balances of those engaged in selling porn:
- The total porn industry revenue for 2006: $13.3 billion in the United States; $97 billion worldwide (Internet Filter Review).
- U.S. adult DVD/video rentals in 2005: almost 1 billion (Adult Video News)
- Hotel viewership for adult films: 55% (cbsnews.com).
- There are 180 million pornography sites world-wide.
Michael Leahy, author of Porn Nation; Conquering Americas #1 Addiction, says that the roots of porn addiction are an individual’s deep set emotional issues and brokenness and an attempt to meet genuine needs in the wrong way. A reformed porn-addict himself, this problem cost him everything — his marriage, his children and his home. He ended up "at rock bottom".
Pornography has severe effects on society including:
- Sexual addiction – the need for sexual gratification becomes insatiable.
- Marriage breakdown – constant sexual urges lead to affairs and subsequent divorce.
- Everyone suffers especially the children.
- Harm to spouse – the wife / husband of a sex addict may self blame or become suicidal.
- An addict may lead a double life.
Leahy, who conquered his own addiction, advises that those who have recovered from pornography addiction need to realize that they cannot have any exposure to porn whatsoever – this can lead to relapse, rather in the way a reformed alcoholic can never again touch alcohol. This is because constant use of pornography alters the brain neurochemistry radically in a similar way to drug addiction.
He offers the following plan of action to those who want to rid themselves of the harmful effects of porn-addiction on their lives:
- Admit to yourself you ARE a porn addict. You cannot get well as long as you are in denial.
- You must go cold Turkey - block all internet porn sites; get rid of all porn materials.
- Confess to a friend and ask them to act as a “buddy” to watch your back. Accountability is critically significant.
- Repent – truly be sorry for what you have done, otherwise you won't feel the need to change.
- Praying helps. It is important to ask God for help on a daily basis.
- Go to a trained counselor/therapist to address underlying issues.
- Find healthier, non computer related ways of using time.
A few other thoughts might be helpful. It is important to commit to long-term recovery. Many people relapse back into pornography. Long-term recovery is enforced primarily by securing an informed therapist and a competently led recovery group. It means establishing and maintaining a healthy and balanced life, including: basic self-care (sleep, sound nutrition, exercise, etc.) meditation, supportive relationships, spiritual well-being, fiscally responsible finances, nurturing an attitude of gratitude, and a compelling purpose for life.
There is hope. There are solutions for your healing and your relationships.